Terrible Two's

I'm sure every other mother of a two year-old boy has complained of this "stage." But I have got to share because I am in absolute shock of how actually terrible he has become.

Let me just re-cap the highlights of last two weeks--keeping in mind of course, that this is not all-inclusive:

1- An entire gallon of paint spilled on the office carpet. Why was there paint in there anyway you ask? Because he had colored with permanent red marker on the walls that even mr. magic eraser couldn't touch and I had just finished and thought the lid was on tight. It was a full 24-48 hrs before I discovered this debacle.

2-He flushed a large bouncy ball down the toilet...I'm sure that will only be part 1 of a much bigger story in the future, but let's hope I'm just being pessimistic and that I have fabulous plumbing. (haha, chuckle as I type that because lets be honest, every single builder cuts corners and its usually on the stuff you can't see inside the walls...)

3-He dumped bubbles in the toilet, oh joy.

4-He can put everything in the toilet except for his own #2. He constantly poops his pants. I have thrown away more underwear than I care to admit because I get so sick of cleaning up that particular mess. I'll spare you the details.

5-He found our electric toothbrushes, pulled the heads off and went around with the pointy metal end punching holes in the walls.

6-He spilled half a gallon on chocolate milk on the carpet and while I was cleaning that up, he jumped over the carpet cleaner breaking one of the attachment holders. It still works but only adds to my frustration.

7-He squirted white creamy desitin on Hannah's carpet and rubbed it in. This was harder to clean up that the entire gallon of paint. Desitin is oil based and resisted all carpet cleaner attempts.

8-He climbed into the fridge, pulled down two cartons of eggs, smashed them on the floor then came to me with yolk all over his hands saying "eggs, eggs."

9-While eating and Kneaders, he accidentally bumped his chocolate milk sending it spiraling all over me and the bench. I was so done with the child at this point I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I really just wanted to crawl into a little ball and roll out of that place without anyone seeing me .

10-I found a bobby pin sticking out of his electrical outlet...not sure when he did this or how it worked out for him. I just hope he learned his lesson. (I'm sure he didn't, but one can hope can't she?!)

Now you may think this is evidence of bad parenting. While I am not mommy of the year, this kid can find trouble in seconds, literally, SECONDS! He puts Dennis the Menace to absolute shame!